PETER'S F1 RACING


10.  IT TOOK ME 19 YEARS TO REALIZE I HAD THE EMERGENCY BRAKE ON.


 9.  FINALLY ROTATED AND BALANCED MY MUSTACHE.


 8.  QUIT TRAINING WITH THE CANADIAN SNOWBOARDING TEAM.


 7.  STOPPED LETTING MY 300-POUND COUSIN RICKY RIDE SHOTGUN.


 6.  NEW STRATEGY:  PRETEND I'M DAVE DRIVING HOME ON THE MERRITT PARKWAY.


 5.  WHO CARES THAT IT TOOK ME 20 YEARS -- AT LEAST MY NAME ISN'T DICK TRICKLE.

 
 4.  JUST FIGURED OUT THAT IF YOU MASH THE GAS PEDAL ALL THE WAY DOWN, THE
     CAR TAKES OFF LIKE A SON-OF-A-BITCH.


 3.  MY NEW PIT CREW -- THE SPICE GIRLS.


 2.  THIS YEAR WHENEVER I PASSED SOMEBODY I GAVE THEM THE FINGER.


 1.  MY SECRET TO SUCCESS:  ONE CAN OF MOTOR OIL IN MY ENGINE, ONE CAN OF
     MOTOR OIL IN MY PANTS!